Are you always concerning yourself with the happiness of others and fulfilling their expectations of you? It’s not a bad quality to have. It shows that you care and want to help others. However, it is easy to get caught up in a cycle of constantly giving and never receiving. Unfortunately, there are people who will use your kindness to their advantage turning a cherished quality into a way to manipulate you into becoming a “Yes Man”. They may even be unaware of it. You know that it may not be exactly what you want, but you are unwilling to hurt others and let them down. That is where it should end. You should never go against what you personally needs and your ideals to let someone know you care. Here are some pointers you can start using in these situations to help break this unhealthy desire:

• At the end of the day, all that matters is how happy you are. Exerting all of your energy to help others, make their lives easier, and make them content is not helping you. It makes you feel good in the moment and diverts confrontation, but you end up paying for it and usually don’t receive what you require in return. Stay true to yourself and don’t be scared to express yourself. Practice saying “no”. The word “no” is your friend. It lets other know when you are displeased, unavailable, or simply don’t want to do something. Say it firmly and don’t allow others to talk you out of your decision.
• It’s okay to not always be agreeable. That makes you an honest and genuine person. Just because you disagree doesn’t mean there will be a confrontation. Even if there is this awkward moment, you are sharing with them your thoughts and feelings. That is vital.
• Let go of the negative feelings and the possible outcomes. This is the hardest step to take, but it is very important for you to free yourself from the “what-ifs”. These feelings are what hold you back and put you in unwanted situations. Taking some time to meditate and clear your mind will help you achieve this goal.

• Talk with a trusted friend. Especially, if there is a specific situation that you are struggling with. Talking with someone will help you express what you’re going through and get feedback from an outside opinion. It may also help you to see the situation more clearly by taking a step back and assessing it.
• Friendship or any relationship doesn’t require anything more than being a good friend. This doesn’t mean you do everything in your power to make someone happy. What it means is that you need to be supportive, respectful, positively communicate, loyal, and truthful. That is all anyone should need from you and that is everything you should require from your relationships.
• Come to terms with the idea that you cannot make another person happy. In all actuality, that individual’s happiness is a frame of mind and wholly dependent on them. They are the only ones that control that emotion because it is internal. Whatever you do externally, may or may not have an impact on them, but that is contingent on how they choose to receive it. Don’t get caught up in their emotions.

At the end of the day, all that matters is how happy you are. Exerting all of your energy to help others make their lives easier, and make them content is not helping you. It makes you feel good in the moment and diverts confrontation, but you end up paying for it and usually don’t receive what you require in return. Stay true to yourself and don’t be scared to express yourself.