Time is slowly passing as we’re standing in the check out aisle. We watch the woman in front of us from the corners of our eyes occasionally glancing around at the candies and magazines. Our gaze ends up back on this woman. With each additional glance, we notice some more of her qualities: the neat clothes, abnormally perfect hair, and the items she’s buying.

The couch is so comfortable where we’re sprawling out. Drinks and snacks are not far from our reach. Netflix is playing in the background. Our hands and eyes are glued to the phone. Staring and scrolling at all of the photos on Instagram to the point of obsession. The thumb is tiring and we just keep seeing people living the lives we so badly desire.

At work, there is that one colleague who just seems to have the best of luck and is always cheerful. No matter the circumstances, things just seem to fall in her lap. She was just telling everyone about the brand new car she bought because her old one broke down. Thank goodness for that raise she just received! It must be nice to be her.

In these brief moments, we are consumed with feeling inadequate because we’re not only comparing ourselves to others in their varying stages of life, but we’re also putting them and their material belongings on a pedestal. What we fail to do in these moments is to recognize our own achievements and also to put the situation into perspective. First of all, you have done so much to get to this point in your life and it wasn’t easy either. Don’t belittle these accomplishments because you aren’t exactly where you want to be yet. It will happen for you. Secondly, the woman in the store was able to afford the clothes, hair, and other items due to the career she made for herself. The people on Instagram live those lifestyles because they market themselves and other brands. The work colleague is doing really well because of her good attitude and work ethic. What do these all have in common? Work. All of these individuals have worked extremely hard to get those commodities. What you might not notice is that all of the individual scenarios also took a certain amount of time to reach. Instant gratification isn’t very realistic and you should stop having that expectation. Instead, you should appreciate your journey. Anything worth having requires a lot of investment.

Take these moments of self doubt and wishful thinking and turn them around into a positive force to be reckoned with. Here are some useful tips to help you progress on your path:

1. Create Goals (both short-term and long-term). Short-term goals are somewhat immediate and lead to your long-term goals. Sit down and write out what you want from life. Separate them into categories of “Under 5 Years” and “Over 5 Years”.
2. Decide on what steps will lead you to meeting those goals. Every goal, regardless on whether they are short-term or long-term, has a million baby steps that need to be taken in order to reach that goal. Be specific on what steps need to be taken.
3. Take action! You’ve mapped out your goals and the necessary steps. Now is the time to stop making excuses and take care of business.
4. Stop and re-evaluate. Once you’ve followed through with your plan, revisit your goals. Did you meet them? Why or why not? Are your goals the same or have they changed over time? What could you do differently?
5. Repeat the process If you want to continue to grow personally, you have to continually challenge yourself and make new goals. This will put you on the path to success.

Figuring out how to accomplish goals can be a bit overwhelming. Especially, when it will take a while to see any progress. Following, the list above will help you conquer your fears and lead you to your dream life! My last few key pointers are to remember that happiness is internal. Your happiness is dependent on you alone. No one thing can adjust how you truly feel, but yourself. Also, take the time to appreciate who you are and how far you’ve come. This has been an epic journey and will continue to be just that!