It’s normal to feel insecure in certain areas about ourselves. It is impossible to be in a good mood and have confidence in yourself 100% of the time. However, these insecurities shouldn’t be making a regular appearance in your daily life. If you are experiencing these negative feelings often, it is time to address them.

Insecurities typically come from our past experiences. We’ve all had times in our lives where we’ve interacted with others who have projected themselves onto us. Parents want their children to succeed in life so they put a lot of stress on their performance, education, and professions. Friends want to have fun and attention. This puts stress on interactions. Romantic partners could eventually be lifelong partners so then we add on communication and sexuality. It goes without saying that we are worried about meeting others’ standards and the absolute worst part is how we beat down on ourselves when we think we’re not meeting those standards. At that point, it doesn’t matter that we have so many great qualities and strengths that we bring to the table. We just become consumed with the idea of failing others and losing them. Unknowingly, we are harming those relationships and ourselves.

Constantly scrutinizing yourself will undoubtedly cause a problem because you are looking for a problem. It is unhealthy and puts those around you in an awkward position. Those you love now have to listen to your self-deprecation. At first, they will fight you on these thoughts trying to reassure you of your worth and what you mean to them. If these insecurities persist, they will become annoyed and end up caring less about your plight because you are essentially crying wolf.

There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are perfect as you are. Stop trying to live up to standards and just live for yourself. Realize that beating up on yourself is toxic and will not help form healthy and happy relationships. If there is something that bothers you, then discuss it with that person. Tell them why and how it makes you feel. This opens up communication and gives them a chance to understand you better and change themselves. If someone doesn’t love you absolutely how you are, then they do not truly appreciate you and you should move on. Worry about your own standards and what will make you happy.